Cathy was stalked for a decade by a jilted boyfriend. Now she reveals the many red flags Aussies should look out for

A woman who was stalked for a decade by her deranged ex-boyfriend is warning others about the telltale signs that could keep them from the clutches of an abusive man. 

Cathy Oddie, 44, survived two abusive relationships, was stalked for 10 years, raped by a stranger and multiple times more by a senior high-ranking police officer. 

On Saturday, Ms Oddie will hit the stage in Ballarat, west of Melbourne, alongside  former police officer Narelle Fraser to lay bare her atrocious experiences at the hands of men and the Victorian justice system in the hope no-one else endures what she has. 

Ms Oddie has been waving the flag for domestic violence survivors for years and gave evidence at the 2015 Royal Commission into the subject. 

'Sometimes I'd come out from somewhere I'd been with my mates and he'd just be hanging around - and preventing me from leaving or going where I wanted,' she told The Courier this week.

'When he sent a message saying he had moved around the corner, my heart absolutely sank.

'I'd get messages like "Your lights are off - where are you?". My fear levels went through the roof.'

Ms Oddie said there had been warning signs she ignored in the early stages of her relationships that turned sour. 

In 2001 while studying at university, Ms Oddie had only recently turned 20 when she made her first mistake by ignoring her first impression of young suitor. 

'My first impression was not good. He was smoking a bong. I should really have followed my instinct on that very first day,' she said.

Another red flag ought to have flown when her new boyfriend immediately became possessive of her. 

'It all started when he alienated all my friends. My housemates moved out as a result - and he moved in,' she said. 

Then came the violence. 

Her boyfriend pulled a boxcutter on her during a petty argument - another flag she ignored. 

Like many a cowardly thug, the boyfriend apologised, declaring he would never do it again. 

Another flag. 

Soon enough the bloke was selling drugs from her home.

By the time her boyfriend began bringing guns home, she was in too deep and couldn't escape. 

'If you leave me I'll kill you, I'll bury you in the backyard. I'll go after your friends and family,' Ms Oddie said. 

It was a threat she believed the brute more than capable of acting upon, which kept her returning home after failed attempts to leave him. 

'I'll never forget multiple occasions where he would have me on the ground, kicking me - and his two younger brothers who later lived with us would watch that and do absolutely nothing,' she said. 

'It was a relationship where I had experienced him holding me hostage at gunpoint, breaking my bones - and strangling me to the point of unconsciousness multiple times.'

Ms Oddie's 23rd birthday saw her barricaded in a bedroom dialing triple-0 as her boyfriend menaced her with a gun. 

Her experience with Victoria Police in the early 2000s continues to haunt her today. 

'They didn't even ask about the gun I had described to the triple-0 call-taker,' she said. 

When the relationship finally ended, the stalking began. 

What followed was a decade of fear and intimidation from a man determined to make her suffer. 

Ms Oddie's torment was compounded by an unsympathetic police force, which was too overworked or too jaded to intervene.

'I told them I needed to get protection - and they told me to go to Broadmeadows Magistrates Court to the Family Violence Registrar,' she said. 

'I couldn't believe it. I had just reported a threat to kill. Why were police not sitting me down and taking a statement? This happened over and over again. Nothing happened to (him).'

Fed up with being a victim, Ms Oddie went about changing the system that had failed her, helping to implement regulatory changes. 

'The Stalker' will take place at the City Oval Bowling Club in Ballarat at 6.30pm.