Grieving mother flees courtroom in anguish as 'closeted' Neo-Nazi tells jurors graphic details of how he murdered her 19 year-old Jewish gay son

A grieving mother, whose 19 year-old son was killed by a 'closeted' Neo-Nazi, fled a Santa Ana courtroom in tears as the killer went into graphic detail as to how he carried out the murder.

Samuel Woodward, now 26, gave the chilling account during his fourth day testifying in his trial on a charge of murder with an enhancement for a hate crime in the death of Blaze Bernstein. 

Bernstein, who was Jewish and gay, was home visiting family in California on winter  break six years ago when he went out with Woodward and disappeared. 

The body of the University of Pennsylvania student was found days later, buried in a park.

The two men attended the same high school, the Orange County School of the Arts and reconnected on the dating app Tinder only months before the attack while Bernstein was home, according to testimony from the months-long trial.

At first told Bernstein he was on the app looking for a hunting partner. However, the conversation turned flirtatious, which at first scared Woodward off, but months later prompted him to tell Bernstein: 'I might make an exception for you.'

'I had been looking for people for a long time to spend time with or talk to,' Woodward said. Screenshots of their conversations have been shown during the trial.

The pair eventually met up one night in January 2018 and went to Borrego Park in Lake Forest, California in Orange County, after which Bernstein was never seen again.

He told how he had then repeatedly stabbed the college sophomore after trying to grab a cellphone he feared had been used to photograph him. 

Woodward, whose long hair partly covers his face has been repeatedly asked by his lawyer to push it aside so jurors could see him properly.

Taking long pauses before answering questions and often sitting with his eyes closed, according to the Orange County Register, he testified how during the evening he smoked marijuana and felt something on his leg as he was lying on a sleeping bag.

He said that he saw his pants were unbuckled and that Bernstein had a cellphone.   

Woodward said he felt Bernstein get close, but thought the 19-year-old was getting something from a bag.

He then told how he began feeling something on his inner thigh and thought he had urinated himself because of the drugs.

Woodward then said that he decided to lie still in order to not bring any attention to himself.

Suddenly, opened his eyes and was immediately in a state of terror after seeing his pants had been undone.

One of Bernstein's hands was touching him, while in the other, he held a cellphone.

'When I looked at him and I saw him and I saw the light of the phone and I realized what he had in his hand, I just — I went and I just — I just came undone,' Woodward said. 

'I went in a state of terror. I remember just asking, "What are you doing, what are you doing?" I just remember asking again and again, "What are you doing?"'

'I can't remember if he said something like "Calm down" or "It's not a big deal,"' Woodward went on.

Woodward said Bernstein kept repeating the words, 'I got you. I got you.' 

Woodward said he was worried Bernstein might have sent an explicit photo of him to someone else.

When asked what he was afraid of by his he defense attorney, Woodward simply said, 'My father.'

'There is no way people like him, people in our community, people in our neighborhood — just the look on his face if he heard about something like that, if it got out somehow,' Woodward said. 'I couldn’t fathom something like that.'

Woodward claimed he began yelling and tried to grab the phone but Bernstein pushed him back.

Woodward then took out a pocket knife he was carrying.

'From that point I literally just reached for the phone any way that I could. I couldn't stop going at the phone. I couldn't see what was going on,' Woodward said on the stand.

'At that point the phone wasn't even in the way anymore. Nothing was in the way anymore. I just kept driving and driving and driving the knife down,' Woodward told the court, adding he felt 'an anger like nothing I had ever felt in my whole life' and later smashed the phone.

'When you say driving the knife down, Sam, were you stabbing Blaze?' Assistant Public Defender Ken Morrison asked.

'At that point, yes I was,' Woodward answered.

Such was the level of detail in Woodward's recounting of the attack, Bernstein's mother could take no more and rushed out of the court.

Other family members could be seen wiping away tears as they heard how their loved one was killed.

Woodward said Bernstein attempted to fight back as he scratched and bit him. 

'I only remember trying to get the phone and during that time and the ensuing tumble I just remember I felt nothing other than being clawed and bitten,' Woodward said.

But it was all in vain as Woodward allegedly went on a frenzied knife attack, stabbing Bernstein 28 times in the face and neck.

Woodward, who was 20 at the time of the murder, said he did not recall how many times he stabbed Bernstein.

'What were you thinking?' the defense attorney asked. 'Do you remember what you were thinking when you were driving the knife down again and again and again?'

'Anger like nothing I had ever felt in my whole life,' Woodward said.

Bernstein died soon afterwards leaving Woodward to move his body across the park and bury him in a shallow grave with which he used his own hands to dig out.

'Everything was just one big flood,' Woodward said. 'I just remember losing my mind. I remember not knowing what to do.' 

After Bernstein missed a dentist appointment the next day, his parents found his glasses, wallet and credit cards in his bedroom and tried reaching him but he didn't respond to texts or calls. 

Woodward was arrested two days after the folding knife with the bloody blade used was found in his room at his parents' house in the upscale enclave of Newport Beach. 

Authorities launched an exhaustive search and said that Bernstein's family had scoured his social media and saw he had communicated on Snapchat with Woodward. 

Bernstein's body was found a week later. 

DNA evidence connected Woodward to the murder, a theory bolstered by the trove of anti-gay, anti-Jewish material found on his phone.

The question during the trial has not been whether Woodward killed Bernstein but the reasons for the killing and circumstances under which it occurred. 

Prosecutors allege that Woodward singled out the gay, Jewish college sophomore after joining the violent, anti-gay, antisemitic group known as Atomwaffen Division.

Woodward claims he was never a full-fledged member and simply joined because he had a 'desire to form a meaningful connection with a group.' 

He said he was looking for 'brotherhood.'

During his testimony, however, Woodward acknowledged he had read excerpts of the book 'Siege' - a text promoted by the far-right group - and had contacts with and met up with members of the group. 

Defense attorney Ken Morrison asked Woodward if he planned to kill him that night or if he hated him because he was gay or Jewish.

'Not at all' Woodward responded.

The district attorney claims Bernstein's murder was a hate crime because he was gay. 

Woodward's lawyer had stressed he didn't plan to kill anyone, nor did he hate Bernstein.

His defense have argued Woodward struggled to form personal relationships due to a long-undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder and was questioning his own sexuality while growing up in a devout, conservative Catholic family, where his father openly criticized homosexuality. 

The prosecution say it is within that family where Woodward is said to have developed homophobic and antisemitic ideals.

Some of the questions Woodward was made to answer during his four days of testimony under oath focused on his sexuality.

He told the court he'd had a short-term relationship with a woman but said he had never experimented with men.

Defense attorneys asked their client about his internet search history, which included visits to gay porn websites in 2015 and 2016.

Woodward said he had consulted the websites for the sole purpose of gathering images. He claimed intended to use the photos to antagonize other users in an online group he was a member of.

Woodward's testimony has moved slowly, with him taking long pauses, sometimes as long as 30 seconds, before answering his attorney's questions. 

The trial has also involved numerous witnesses including relatives, friends and authorities. 

The case took years to go to trial after questions arose about Woodward's mental state and following multiple changes in defense attorneys. Woodward was deemed competent to stand trial in late 2022.

Woodward will take the stand again on Monday for cross-examination by prosecutors, who have alleged that he repeatedly targeted gay men online by reaching out to them before abruptly breaking off contact while keeping a hateful, profanity-laced journal of his actions. 

Aside from the folding knife, prosecutors also said they found hate group materials among Woodward's belongings including a black Atomwaffen mask with traces of blood.

They have attempted to portray Woodward as an angry, homophobic teen with violent tendencies. 

If convicted Woodward faces life in prison.