It was a love affair for the ages - but time could not stand still for lawyer, 48, as his 104-year-old girlfriend dies

EXCLUSIVE

An unlikely Australian love story which transfixed romantics and cynics alike has come to an end with the death of a 48-year-old lawyer's 104-year-old girlfriend. 

Estonian-born Mart Soeson is mourning the loss of Elfriede Riit, his sweetheart of more than a decade, after she peacefully passed away at a nursing home in Sydney's west on Saturday afternoon. 

Daily Mail Australia has learnt that when Ms Riit knew her time had come, she said goodbye to Mr Soeson then crossed her hands on her chest and died.

The couple's relationship captivated readers when it was revealed Mr Soeson was seeking a visa to remain in Australia on the basis Ms Riit was his de facto partner.  

Ms Riit, who was also Estonian, fled Europe after World War II and had previously been married to Mr Soeson's grandfather. 

After Mr Soeson's permanent residency visa application was rejected in December 2018 he took the matter to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal.

The Department of Home Affairs would not accept the pair's commitment was real and Mr Soeson was forced to prove his feelings for Ms Riit were legitimate.

At a hearing before the tribunal in February, Mr Soeson was grilled for three hours about the nature of his union with Ms Riit and what they meant to each.

Mr Soeson admitted the pair did not share a bedroom and had never had sex but insisted their half-century age difference was irrelevant. 

'Yes, I know we have the age gap,' Mr Soeson told Daily Mail Australia. 'And I know it's an issue for some people.

'But generally, age gap is an issue in the case of an older woman and younger man. It's never an issue in case of an older man and young woman - but I'm not able to change that attitude.'

Ms Riit had attended the tribunal in a wheelchair when the case was first listed for hearing in January but was too distressed and disoriented to take part in proceedings.

When the tribunal hearing resumed the next month, Mr Soeson unsuccessfully sought to have media excluded from covering the case because Ms Riit felt it had already attracted too much attention.

'It's a personal affair for her,' Mr Soeson said. 'She doesn't want to be like a celebrity.'

That day, tribunal member David David Barker took Mr Soeson through each concern Home Affairs had expressed when it originally denied his visa.

Mr Barker told Mr Soeson the law did not require him to being having sex with Ms Riit for their relationship to be recognised but asked if could confirm there had never been any sexual intimacy between them.

'Yes, none,' he told Mr Barker.

'We have intimacy - holding hands, hugs, kissing. We have a spiritual and intellectual relationship. We have a strong emotional connection to each other.'

Mr Soeson met Ms Riit in early 1996 when he came to Australia to study advanced English and she invited him to stay in her home at Bankstown.

Ms Riit knew of Mr Soeson as the grandson of her late husband Alfred - she had been his second wife - who, like her, left Estonia when it was annexed by the USSR.

It was not love at first sight and 'nothing happened overnight', according to Mr Soeson, 

He eventually returned to Estonia but repeatedly came back to Australia in the following years to see Ms Riit and their bond grew gradually.

'Upon returning from my trip to Austria in 2007, I could not shake the feeling that I was missing something in my life, and that something was Elfriede,' Mr Soeson said in an affidavit. 

Mr Soeson said what would become an 'exclusive committed long-term' relationship with Ms Riit first became romantic in January 2013 when she was 92 and he was 37.

'What started out as a wholesome bond I had with my late grandfather's widow slowly but surely turned into a very meaningful and loving relationship,' he told Daily Mail Australia.

'Every urge I tried to fight regarding our future did not mean anything when I truly thought about how happy she made me.' 

Mr Soeson quit his legal career in Estonia and according to him entered a de facto relationship with Ms Riit in September 2018 when he was 43 and she was 98.  

'Elfriede was completely in love with me and I was feeling the same way about her,' Mr Soeson said in his affidavit. 

The couple lived together at Ms Riit's Bankstown home until she was forced to move into an aged care facility on doctor's orders in September 2022.

Mr Soeson would regularly visited the nursing home where he brought his lover her favourite foods including chocolate and berries.

They attended concerts and chapel services, watched television together and went out to have coffee with friends and to visit medical specialists.

At the tribunal, Mr Barker said Home Affairs had not been satisfied Mr Soeson and Ms Riit were in a genuine de facto relationship.

One of the problems with Mr Soeson's visa application was that he had sometimes referred to himself as Ms Riit's grandson when dealing with government agencies.

Mr Barker asked why, when Mr Soeson flew into Australia in October 2013, he had told immigration officials he was visiting his grandmother.

'I felt discrimination, maybe that's why,' he said. 'I felt scared that they will discriminate. On that, we have had such experiences.

'I didn't view her as my grandmother. I've never called her "grandmother". There was no grandson-grandmother relationship.'

Mr Soeson said Ms Riit had been first to declare her love but the feeling was mutual.

'She said many times that she wanted someone by her side,' Mr Soeson told the tribunal. 'She was a widow. She was lonely and helpless.'

Mr Barker observed that sex was an important part of most couple's lives and asked Mr Soeson if he and Ms Riit had ever discussed not being physically intimate.

'We didn't talk about it,' he said. 'We never thought about this, to be in sexual relationship.'

The couple had not shared a bedroom because Ms Riit's snoring disturbed Mr Soeson, who worked part-time as a painter.

Ms Riit would also wake screaming from nightmares about World War II and the brutal Soviet occupation of Estonia.

Mr Barker noted there was limited independent evidence available about the nature of his relationship with Ms Riit, who did not have any children.

'We don't have many mutual friends,' Mr Soeson said. 'Most of her friends are dead and due to her nature she is a recluse person.'

Ms Riit suffered from Alzheimer's disease and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder with depressive symptoms. She had hearing and vision impairment.

Mr Barker said when Ms Riit attended the tribunal in January she 'did not appear oriented in time or place' and was 'quite distressed' by her surroundings.

Asked outside the hearing if she wanted Mr Soeson to go back to Estonia, Ms Riit had cried out: 'No!' 

Mr Soeson had told the tribunal he hoped Ms Riit would one day be able to rejoin him at Bankstown.

'That's my desire to have her back, that it's just a temporary thing,' he said.

Mr Soeson described Ms Riit as 'a modern person' and said they had never seen any benefit in getting married. 

Forcing Mr Soeson to return to Estonia would be devastating for both of them because Ms Riit's deteriorating health meant she would never be able to join him.

'My duty is to stand by her side and when the final day comes, to bury her and fulfill her last wishes,' he told Daily Mail Australia.

It was unclear what effect Ms Riit's death might have on Mr Soeson's appeal. The hearing is still listed to resume in May.