Let the silver surfers keep flicking through the channels, writes Emma Cowing

The other day I was faffing about with my Netflix channel, pressed the wrong button and landed on a television station. I know. Radical.

Some sort of lifestyle programme was airing, on a channel whose name I’d never come across before. I flicked the remote to another station, then another, realising I had hundreds of TV channels that I have never got around to watching. Ever.

My first thought – well actually it was my second, my first thought was that I better get on to Virgin and change my ludicrous, hundreds-of-channels-I-never-watch package – was, who watches this stuff?

It’s certainly true that more of us access TV through the internet than ever before. The television in this house only goes on at weekends, and usually then only to access a film or drama series on Netflix or iPlayer on a Saturday night (yes, we are real partygoers).

The rest of the week we tend to watch things on our devices, which means that at the moment I’m working my way through The Gilded Age on Amazon Prime (a glorious romp through late 19th century Manhattan written by Julian Fellowes, think Downton Abbey with American accents and more frills) on my laptop, while my husband is partial to the odd football match.

Many people I know are the same. They watch what they watch, when they want to watch it, on the device of their choosing. My Mum, despite growing up in an era long before streamers or the internet, now prefers watching Netflix and iPlayer on her iPad, than switching on the live channels she can access on the box in the corner of her room.

Many of us now only watch the news on terrestrial television, and perhaps the odd event such as the Coronation, or the Queen’s funeral, or live sport you don’t have to pay for, such as Wimbledon.

And yet there are still almost four million people in Britain today who rely solely on digital terrestrial television. They are predominantly older and less affluent. And for them it is a lifeline. They watch daytime TV, they watch the news when it’s on, and they watch their favourite soaps and dramas. It’s TV how it used to be watched.

All of which is why the news this week, that broadcasters have hinted all channels may soon be received through the internet rather than via aerial, is so concerning.

Ofcom said TV companies have told them ‘for the first time’ they are expecting to axe channels from digital television. It’s a worrying move, particularly for those 3.9million who cannot access TV any other way.

For the elderly, particularly those who live on their own, the television is a friend, and a companion. It can alleviate loneliness, and keep them plugged into the outside world. They don’t want to mess about with devices they don’t understand, or plunge into the world of expensive and confusing streaming platforms that don’t, it turns out, have their favourite programme on anyway.

The report states that there is widespread concern that ‘some may never transition’ to internet TV, and frankly, why should they?

Look, I understand that times change. The report suggested that the viewing of scheduled channels through digital terrestrial television is forecast to drop from 62 per cent of viewing of programmes in 2023 to 22 per cent by 2040. That also means over the next 16 years, a lot of Brits will still be relying on digital terrestrial TV.

The move to switch off channels on digital terrestrial then, seems both wrong-headed and too soon. Not everyone has an iPad or access to Netflix. They either don’t want it or can’t afford it. For those people, is it not worth keeping those channels switched on a little bit longer?

 Obsession with dieting? V, V bad

When I read the first Bridget Jones novel back in the 1990s, Bridget’s obsession with her weight seemed completely normal. Looking back, it seems unhealthy and also ludicrous (she was nine stone. Nine stone!) that she held herself – and by extension her readers – to such unrealistic standards.

So it’s probably for the best that in the latest Bridget Jones film, which Renee Zellweger is currently shooting in London, the actress has not been asked to put on weight. Nor will there be any focus on body image either. Thank goodness for that. It’s about time we moved on.

 I MUST confess that lummox, as in ‘what on earth are you doing, you great lummox?’, is one of my favourite insults. It ticks all the boxes: entertaining to say, amusing to hear and onomatopoeic enough to get the meaning across. How disappointing, then, to learn that 62 per cent of young Britons have never heard of it, while other old-fashioned insults such as bampot, pillock, toe rag and plonker are falling out of favour too. Apparently, if they’re not used more, they’ll die out within a generation. You know what to do, readers...

 On road to recovery  

Sir Chris Hoy has completed a 133-mile bike ride only weeks after finishing chemotherapy treatment. Every cancer patient has their own journey (and I suspect not many will be embarking on 100-plus mile cycles as soon as they’ve got the green light), but for Hoy, cycling is clearly a passion and a healer. It’s great to see him back on the road.

 Women are doing an hour more a day of household chores than men. I can’t say I’m surprised. If the women do them, they know they’ll get done. 

 Childless couples now account for more than 40 per cent of family households in the UK. As a member of one, it’s a subject I’m keenly aware of, not least because so many ask ‘but why?’ The answers to that question, for all childless couples, are complex, varied and deeply personal. My advice: if they don’t tell you, don’t ask.

I applied for a new passport recently and was astonished to learn that the standard fee is now £88.50. What are they printing them on, antique parchment?

 Come on Mr Swinney, there’s still time to do something useful

And so it’s in with John Swinney and the continuity Cabinet (plus the capable Kate Forbes) and out with Humza Yousaf and the Green coalition. I suspect many across Scotland, even those who would prefer the SNP out of government altogether, will be relieved that the hoo-hah is over.

I believe Swinney will do little to stop the decline of the SNP however, no matter what his next move is. Yesterday, a poll by Savanta showed that the party is set to lose 25 seats at the upcoming general election, leaving it with a paltry 18 MPs, while Labour is set to win 28. Ouch.

Perhaps then, the SNP should use the time it has left (the next Holyrood election, don’t forget, is set for 2026, and who knows where its fortunes will be by then), to do something meaningful.

A few half decent policies that will actually help the people of Scotland, without the toxic disharmony that has threatened to overwhelm the political discourse in this country in recent years.