My brother cheated on his wife - I don't want him to bring his mistress and her child to Thanksgiving dinner

The sister of a man who abruptly left his wife after 17 years of marriage says she's caught in the middle of family drama now that he wants to bring his mistress and her child to Thanksgiving dinner. 

Posting on Reddit, the woman shared her brother, who had an affair, left his wife of 17 years as well as their two children in May 2022 for his mistress.

'Since we found out about the affair we have all sunk a lot of time and effort into supporting his kids and have generally been no contact,' the original poster wrote.  

Their mother invited him and his two children over to her house for Thanksgiving, but now he's revealed plans to bring his mistress and her child along with them. 

The Reddit user believes that it's 'too soon' for her brother to bring his mistress to family gatherings and has asked for advice if she's an a**hole for not wanting the woman there. 

Although he plans to make a Thanksgiving appearance, the Reddit poster said he initially turned down their mother's dinner invitation.

'She wanted to arrange when to pick up his kids (his day with them) so they could be there and he said “we will see,”' the user explained.

Their mother assumed he and his children weren't going to dinner, but then told her two days later to expect him, his two children from his previous marriage, and his mistress and her child.

The Reddit user wrote that her family did not invite her brother's mistress, but they also didn't officially exclude her from their dinner invitation. 

She explained: 'My mom’s primary concern with uninviting, placing restrictions on, not including my brother is that he will deny her time with his kids in retaliation.' 

'She is convinced he will keep my niece and nephew from coming to thanksgiving and blame it on my parents, me, and my siblings.'

The Reddit user has explained herself more clearly to some of the commenters, who've said that she is not the a****** for not wanting her husband's mistress and her child there. 

One person wrote: Why doesn't your mother have a better relationship with your ex SIL (sister-in-law) in order to see the kids? Her excuse is a little flimsy without more background on this. 

The original poster responded: 'I think my mom is making a lot of these decisions in fear and not necessarily reality.'

'He has the kids on thanksgiving; she thinks if we stand up to him he won’t let the kids come. To be fair, it would not surprise me at all if he did this and my niece and nephew would be very upset.'

Another person suggested that the family invite his ex-wife, and that she needs to know that the family loves and supports her and her children. 

The woman responded: 'This is what my dad wants to do. We are all still on good terms with his ex wife. Bless her heart, she still wants my brother to have a good relationship with us and doesn’t want to come if there’s a possibility he would come.'

One Reddit user who thinks that the woman is not the a***hole and offered suggestions on how to handle the situation better.

'Have you considered instead of forcing her hand to uninvite him maybe just let her know you’re not comfortable and you don’t attend this year,' the user suggested.

They continued by telling the woman she should tell her other siblings that she will not attend Thanksgiving dinner if their brother is bringing his mistress and her child.

'You don’t have to spend your moments with anyone you don’t know or that you don’t want to spend time with,' they wrote.

They added: 'Maybe you could reach out to your ex sister-in-law and see them that way if the brother keeps you away from them during his time.'

'Just because you’re biologically related does not mean you have to have anyone in your life that you don’t want.'