Stormy Daniels reveals in Daily Mail podcast she wanted to 'kill' neighborhood 'predator' who abused her when she was nine... and how horses saved her life

Stormy Daniels has described how she sexually abused by when she was just nine and her love of horses was how she survived a tumultuous childhood. 

Daniels talks about her early years in the first episode of Daily Mail's Everything I Know About Me: Stormy Daniels, which was released Tuesday. 

The adult actress at the center of Donald Trump's historic hush money trial reveals she wanted to go back and 'kill' her abuser, but he was already dead.

She spent most of her childhood in a small house in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which fell into disrepair after her father left.

Daniels, who real name is Stephanie Clifford, said she always felt sympathetic for her father because he 'made it very clear that he didn't want to have children.' 

LISTEN: Everything I Know About Me with Stormy Daniels 

Donald Trump's one-time lover said she was often questioned about why she wasn't more mad that her father left the family. 

'But if a woman is being dishonest, it sort of takes that power away,' she explained. 'And he never wanted children. 

'So it's really hard to be angry at a man who didn't have that choice, which sounds very opposite of what we're used to hearing that, you know, women are the ones that should have the voice and the choice and whatever, but so, I think so should men - and he didn't.' 

Her father remarried and divorced - but when he was with wife No. 2, Susan, she made sure Daniels remained in his life - and took her horseback riding for the first time.

'My stepmom was like very excited to teach me about horses and show me horses,' Daniels said. 'She bought me my first pair of riding boots.'

'It was nice to get away and have a clean place to sleep at least twice a year,' Daniels added. 

Later, as a teenager, Daniels spent $500 of Christmas money given to her by her stepfather to purchase an ailing horse named Jade. 

Riding and taking care of Jade, Daniels said, was how she kept herself out of trouble during her high school years. 

Daniels remembered that there would be no food in the house and her mother would disappear for days at a time. 

'And I wouldn't eat,' the adult actress recalled. 

She explained that as an adult if she becomes the slightest bit hungry 'I panic.' 

'I can't stand to be hungry,' she noted. 'It's such a trigger for me.' 

Daniels claims her mom's disappearing act would leave her susceptible to predators. 

Her best friend, whom she refers to as 'Vanessa' in her memoir and in this interview,  started being sexually abused by her next door neighbor when Daniels was around nine-years-old. 

Daniels reveals the name of her abuser in the podcast - and said she wasn't allowed to reveal his name in her tell-all book. 

'He's dead now, by the way, because I later went back to kill him,' she said. 'And he was already, he was already deceased.'

'Although it shouldn't really matter because I know there's a police record,' she continued, adding that the omission 'made me very angry.' 

Daniels said that once she found out about the abuse she 'started sort of putting myself in between her and him' - meaning she was subjected to the abuse too. 

She recalled in the podcast interview how while Vanessa was believed, Daniels was not, when she admitted to what was happening with Burnett. 

In the interview, Daniels recalls wanting to resurrect her relationship with her mother when she was pregnant with her own daughter. 

'And I will tell you that the second my daughter was born, every once of forgiveness, sympathy empathy - maybe I'm being too hard - [for] my mom went out the window and I completely stopped speaking to her,' Daniels recalled. 

'I haven't accepted a text, a phone call, a message, an email, nothing since the day my daughter was born,' she continued.  

The reason - she said - is that once her daughter was born 'I could not imagine how she did the things to me.' 

In the series, Daniels also lifts the lid on the historic New York trial, and her frustrations with the many misconceptions that came from it.  

In the in-depth show, the 45-year-old will discuss the night in a hotel room 18 years ago where she claimed she had sex with the former president.

She will detail her troubled childhood, controversial career, love of horses, and the testimony in the Manhattan trial that received global attention.

Daniels was the center of a worldwide spectacle as she told a jury how she was paid $130,000 to keep quiet about her claims she was romantically involved with Trump.

She testified about how she met the now-77-year-old presumptive Republican nominee for president at a celebrity golf tournament in 2006.

She had been hired to work at the event when she was introduced to Trump, then a reality TV star and property developer who had not yet set his sights on politics. 

He was a newlywed - having married Melania a year beforehand - and was preparing to become a father for the fifth time with son Barron on the way.

The court heard that Stormy was invited to his penthouse suite for dinner. She says he opened the door in his pajamas then the pair chatted. 

When she went to the restroom, she returned to find him in his underwear. 

What happened next has been the source of speculation ever since. Trump has denied ever meeting Daniels and critics have insisted she is lying. 

She maintains that they slept together - but says she blocked out the memory.  

Daniels is now trying to set the record straight with her side of the story, and a raw retelling of how she became one of the most divisive figures in the U.S.

Listen to Everything I Know About Me: Stormy Daniels, wherever you get your podcasts. Episodes will be released every Tuesday. Make sure you follow to never miss an episode.