AMANDA PLATELL: How CAN Meghan give lectures on friendship?

Just when we thought it had all gone quiet on the Montecito front, up pops Meghan with her exciting new venture.

It's a Netflix series celebrating 'the joys of cooking and gardening, entertaining and... ' — wait for it — 'friendship'.

This, from a woman who has dumped most of her pre-Harry friends as well as her entire family (apart from mum Doria) while also luring Harry away from his old friends.

A woman who has such a reputation for defriending people, there's a verb for it in the Urban Dictionary — being 'Markled'.

What hypocrisy for someone who dumps her besties faster than she traduces the Royal Family to lecture us on friendship.

A brief flick through the Duchess of Sussex's friendship history reveals she began 'Markling' — definition: disposing of people once you have no use for them any more — when she fell out with some of her Suits co-stars, after describing them as 'family'.

And when she started dating Harry in 2016, she counted stylist Jessica Mulroney among her best friends. They were close for decades and Jessica attended Meghan's £200,000 NYC baby shower in 2019. Today, she's nowhere to be seen, after getting involved in a white privilege debate, which might have tarnished Meghan's multi-racial brand.

She befriended Violet von Westenholz, a friend of Harry in her early days with the Prince, before that friendship also cooled.

Same story with Made In Chelsea's Millie Mackintosh who is even said to have helped organise the royal wedding — but ended up not being invited.

And don't even get me started on the way she 'Markled' the Royal family. Oh, and unforgivably, she slapped down the hand of friendship Kate offered when Meghan first joined the Firm.

Isn't it striking, too, that for all her supposed trailblazing feminism this new series makes her sound like a housewife who's got her Marigolds on?

But it's her claim to know about friendship that really grates.

Meghan wouldn't know how to keep a friend to save her life.

Well done Keir Starmer for revealing in the Mail Labour's 'unshakeable' commitment to Trident and nuclear subs, sinking any memory of peacenik Jeremy Corbyn's policies. Now can he please torpedo his views on women having a penis?

Caroline must RIP

I understand the despair of Caroline Flack's mother Christine at losing her daughter to suicide — but is it really right to seek to reopen a police investigation into the way they handled her daughter's arrest after she assaulted her boyfriend then killed herself?

Caroline had a history of suicide attempts and alleged drug abuse.

She was a wonderful but troubled woman who tragically chose to end her own life.

Can we really blame the cops for that?

Hanks wins movie race

He has run the entire length of Africa and now there's talk of eccentric 'Hardest Geezer' Russ Cook's epic journey being turned into a movie.

Sorry to break it to you Russ, but Tom Hanks was there before you in 1994 in Forrest Gump which took nearly $700 million worldwide.

Cat won't let ITV down 

ITV's This Morning is proving a hit again with the arrival of Cat Deeley and Ben Shephard who've replaced Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. Viewing figures are up by five per cent on last year.

Good news — but mostly I'm happy for the behind-the-scenes team who I know from experience are among the best in the business. They kept that sinking ship afloat after Schofield's shameful exit and Holly's opportunistic departure just when they needed her most.

The father of one-month-old Ollie Davis is sentenced to life for battering and murdering the baby boy who was so badly injured he died in agony with a broken neck.

Yet Ollie's mother Kayleigh Driver gets just seven years for 'allowing the death of a child and serious physical injury'.

In my view she is as guilty as her husband Michael Davis. Any mother who 'allows' her baby to be murdered before her eyes should serve life, too.

EX Post Office managing director David Smith apologises for saying in 2010 it was 'brilliant news' postmistress Seema Misra was given 15 months in prison.

'Looking at it through their eyes not mine, you can see that it may have caused substantial upset and I really do apologise for that,' he says.

This pregnant mother-of-one who was jailed and shamed in her community for a crime she never committed may have been upset by his abhorrent glee? And what a weaselly way of saying sorry, no doubt drafted by a well-paid lawyer with an eye on future prosecutions. Of which I hope we'll see plenty — for former Post Office bosses.

Loyalty in Isla's life

After her separation from husband of 13 years Sacha Baron Cohen, Isla Fisher cut a lonely figure this week walking with her dog Maisie. I know Maisie from my local park — she's loving and playful although a bit naughty sometimes and liable to run off from her mistress. I'm always happy to return her to Isla safe in the knowledge she has one dog in her life that's happy at home.

Leo Woodall, the heartthrob in hit TV series One Day, is lined up for the next Bridget Jones movie. Jolly good, but there are only two roles Leo, 27, could play — the son of 54-year-old Renee Zellweger, or her toyboy. A middle-aged Bridget rolling around in her famous fat pants with hunky Leo?

Please let it be the son! Or it will be a diary entry of alcohol units 35, cigarettes 22, just for the moviegoers.

I back this Aintree favourite

Oh, I do so love Aintree's Ladies Day when women dress up in the most amazing outfits they've spent weeks, even months, planning.

The £5,000 prize for Best Dressed must go to this lass, resplendent in royal blue. Her shoes were blue and even her toenails were painted to match.

Give that lady the blue ribbon!

After Suki Waterhouse posted a picture of herself postpartum, looking pretty great, other new mums said it doesn't reflect the real brutality of what having a baby does to your body. I'm just relieved these attention grabbing celebrities invading their own privacy haven't yet started posting pictures of the actual birth.

Westminster wars

• Liz Truss says the late Queen's advice when she became PM was to 'pace yourself'. As Liz's reign was always doomed to be a brutally short one, maybe what the politically savvy Queen really said was, 'brace yourself'.

• Sales of Rishi Sunak's favourite Adidas Samba trainers tank as people associate them with him. I get that. The moment Cherie Blair starting wearing the then trendy designer label Ronit Zilkha in No 10, the first stop for my collection of RZ frocks was the charity shop.

Sheridan Smith's West End comeback was a gamble after her struggles with drink — given she played an alcoholic. There's no shame for Sheridan in Opening Night closing early. Her performance was called brilliant. The incontinent plot scuppered it.