Female sex addict reveals how her obsession took over her life as she thought of nothing but getting her daily 'fix' - before ultimately pushing her to the brink of SUICIDE

A female sex addict has lifted the lid on how she came to be obsessed with intimacy because her mom was 'cold', which caused her to fall into a never-ending loop of getting tangled up in a stranger's sheets every night.

Amanda - who chose to keep her last name and appearance hidden for safety reasons - appeared on a recent episode of the podcast We're All Insane alongside host Devorah Roloff.

The 35-year-old spoke candidly about her tumultuous upbringing with her distant mother, which caused her to 'gravitate towards toxicity' as she described her sex life as 'porn', and explained that there was 'no love' to it. 

Amanda admitted that it was when her first boyfriend left her at the age of 26 that the 'animal was let out of the cage' and she began turning to sex to gain 'control' and 're-center herself' - confessing that she had to get her 'fix' daily and even had 'suicidal' thoughts because she couldn't see herself getting over her addiction. 

'My name is Amanda and I'm going to be talking about being a sex addict,' she said at the start of the video

She explained that her addiction began ruminating when she was just a child due to how 'cold' her mom is. 

Amanda said that although her childhood was mostly 'normal,' her mom was a single mother and had a longing to live her life again - without the responsibilities of having a kid beside her. 

She noted that she saw her mother in various relationships, which made her believe that relationships don't center around love.  

Amanda explained: 'My mom was just very cold and I know a lot of that stems from her mom and then her mom's mom, it's just a vicious cycle.' 

The sex addict noted that things began to intensify during her relationship with her first boyfriend, whom she referred to as E. 

She described sex with E - who she was with on and off with for 12 years - as 'very aggressive' and referred to it as 'porn.' 

The couple's relationship involved no 'love-making' - with Amanda claiming that E had a 'drinking problem.'

Despite being toxic to each one another, Amanda stayed in the relationship until she eventually got pregnant.

And while Amanda was looking forward, things took a tragic turn when she lost the baby. 

Two months later, E packed up and left her for good, which she now calls the 'best thing' that happened to her. 

Following the split, Amanda found herself looking to have sex with anyone. 

She explained: I was just playing the field in a very irresponsible way because I hurt people that really didn't need to be hurt. It was just all for my instinct gratification of taking my control back and feeding my ego and everything in between that I felt like I had lost for so long. 

'I was still kind of healing from my son's death. I really didn't even know the proper way to fix that. I was just a mess to say the least, my life state was very very low, I just felt like I was just surviving, getting by, doing what I had to do and very numb very very numb.' 

Two years after E left her, Amanda entered a 'situationship' with a man she called Em. 

She found herself having the same issues she did with E and became unfaithful so she could gain 'control' and get her 'fix.' 

Amanda said that after having sex with someone - no matter who it was - she felt like she could finally 'breathe.' 

However, she kept her infidelity a secret from Em, and when he discovered her secret, Amanda felt like her life was over. 

She said: 'I was hysterical, I literally felt so emotionally unhinged. I felt very very suicidal.' 

However, despite being upset about the end of her love affair with Em, she still went off to have sex with others. 

She explained that her desire for sex was due to her 'big ego.' She added: 'I'm very big in my ego unfortunately, and that's kind of one of the reasons why I am a sex addict, it's because I do have a big ego and once my ego died, I didn't want to live anymore.' 

Amanda noted that while it's healthy to use sex for pleasure and because you have a connection with someone, she knew she had a problem because she was being intimate so she could gain 'power.' 

'I'm a sex addict, I'm a sex addict, but that's not all I am,' she said towards the end of the clip. 

Amanda noted that she began healing and recovering from her addiction as well the shame it brought her by becoming a Buddhist and attending addiction meetings.