KENNEDY: Diddy's in deep doody - and his desperate denial is straight out the Trump playbook... PLUS attention-shrew Candace Owens's karmic humiliation... and Travis 'Chewbacca' Kelce's VERY hairy new look

If Diddy did it, he's in deep doody.

Police, Homeland Security and various other black-clad, helmeted feds raided his compounds in Los Angeles and Miami on Monday as part of high-drama sex trafficking sting.

They even frog-marched his sons out his $40 million LA mansion with guns drawn. And – from pictures Sean 'Diddy' Combs's lawyers released – it appears his gaudy cribs got trashed.

We're talking about Puff Daddy, not El Chapo, right?

Now the Bad Boy mogul is taking a page from another beleaguered naughty boy's playbook, as the rapper's attorney called the coordinated raids a 'gross overuse of military-level force' and a 'witch hunt'.

Did he crib that from glamazon Trump lawyer Alina Habba?

FBI agents frisked every inch of Donald's Florida fortress in Mar-a-Lago in August 2022, and the backlash to such a heavy-handed and public display was a shot in the arm for the former president's re-election campaign.

Perhaps Puff – good Lord man, pick one name! – is banking on outrage boosting his brand too?

Well, easy there, Diddly-Do. Why would anyone 'witch hunt' you?

You aren't exactly taking on the Deep State.

Last November, the booze and music mogul was socked in the shorts with a civil lawsuit from his ex-girlfriend Cassandra 'Cassie' Ventura, who claimed he had raped her, forced her into orgies with male prostitutes, and ran a human trafficking ring.

Combs and Ventura settled one day after the suit was filed. Terms weren't disclosed.

If that's not enough, a former friend of Ventura's told DailyMail.com that Combs – horrifically – coerced Cassie to remove her brand-new breast implants moments after surgery and against medical advice.

Reportedly, Combs thought her new pair were too plump. If there's one thing you can say about P. Diddy – he's got good taste. (Barf!)

Then there were three more civil suits from women filing equally damning claims, including a disgusting allegation of a gang rape involving a 17-year-old victim.

Here's the tragically unfunny thing about larger-than-life industry captains like Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein (who, unlike Diddy and his sons, were actually charged with crimes and convicted of the awful things they were accused of): there are warning whispers about them for years.

Should we have been paying closer attention when Usher told Howard Stern in 2016 about living in Diddy's New York party mansion in 1994, Usher then just 14 years old?

'It was pretty wild. It was crazy,' he said of his time under Combs's greasy wing. 'There were very curious things taking place and I didn't necessarily understand it.'

Asked by Stern if he'd send his kids to 'Puffy Flavor Camp', Usher responded emphatically: 'Hell no!'

The sharpest analysis came from Diddy's longstanding rivalrous feuder '50 Cent' who claimed of Monday's raids: 'Sh** just got real… They don't come like that unless they got a case.'

Combs and his plagiarist legal team might be hitting the Ciroc hard this week, but I don't know if there's much to toast.

The 'witch hunt' defense won't cut it if the Feds find any condemnable goods. Then, Puffy goes up in smoke.

Talk's cheap, Olivia

Olivia Colman, 50, has been popping off about gender pay disparity in Hollywood but it's come off a bit cheap from a woman who's bagged a heap of cash, a heck ton of awards, then suddenly boohoos her butt off about girls not being paid enough.

'I'm very aware that if I was Oliver Colman I would be earning a f*** of a lot more than I am.'

Put a sock in it, sir!

I knew you were stubble... 

BREAKING: Taylor Swift and Chewbacca seen making out on a Bahamian beach.

Oh, wait. That's Travis Kelce. Was he wearing a stylish new t-shirt made from brown Brillo pads?

Kamala's PR disaster

Cackling Kamala Harris was delighted as serenading locals greeted her to Puerto Rico last Friday.

Nah, they were actually protesting her presence in Spanish and she clapped along like a big dummy as they belted out, 'We want to know, Kamala, what did you come to do?' (Sing along if you know it!)

The answer is that our struggling Veep headed South on a cynical Latino vote-finding mission – but the fine people of Puerto Rico won't easily forget how she and Old Joe failed to fulfil promises to help rebuild the island in the wake of two devastating 2017 hurricanes. That was until it become electorally expedient.

Quelle horreur! 

Master click-baiter and emetic anti-Semite Candace Owens waged her career on a set of totally unfounded conspiracies about France's First Lady.

'I would stake my entire professional reputation on the fact that Brigitte Macron is in fact a man,' she said.

Well, it appears Owens has lost the bet. The greedy attention shrew has been summarily discharged as Daily Wire's most desperate bomb-thrower after bosses finally tired of her rabid ravings.

To Owens, being an Establishment elitist is a fate worse than death, though some would argue unemployment and a nosedive to irrelevancy might sting a little worse.

Lard-ashian no more

Former Kardashian man meat Scott Disick, 40, can't seem to put down the Ozempic syringe and has become Hollywood's latest disappearing act.

This miracle drug might magically melt away the chub, but Grinch-bod Scott seems to have overdone the skinny juice and fans are now worried he's wasting away.

Sources says he turned to the lard-busting injections because his middle-aged muffin top got out of control following a forced period of convalescence after he flipped his Lamborghini in a 2022 car crash. 

If he keeps on shrinking, pretty soon he'll be able to drive his son's hot wheels.

Boeing, Boeing, GONE! 

Finally, the beleaguered company's CEO Dave Calhoun has been blown out like a loose door-plug at 15,000 feet.

Sure he's 'stepping down' at the end of the year, but with concerns about the entire 737 MAX fleet mounting, it'll take a lot more than this bald scalp to reassure worried Americans when boarding a Boeing jet.

Calhoun's jumping into his detachable life raft alongside a few other executive pals as part of a 'leadership shake-up'.

Please use caution when removing those golden parachutes from the overhead bins, gentleman!

Bruce's almighty pecs

Bruce Springsteen hit a bum note at a recent show in Phoenix, with perplexed fans saying he looked more like actress Tilda Swinton or soccer-sourpuss Megan Rapinoe.

With a severe gray pixie cut and an undone flannel revealing an overly plump set of pectorals, some wondered if The Boss was born to run… to the plastic surgeon.

Casey's kindness

Florida lady boss Casey DeSantis had a beautiful message for Kate Middleton amid her cancer battle, writing: 'From one mom to another, you've got this. If I can beat it, so can you. Have faith, stay strong, and fight like hell. We're praying for you!'

Hopefully well wishes from a cancer-survivor and fellow public figure like Casey will assure the princess that – despite relentless and vile online theorizing – this battle is hers for the taking.

Fight like hell indeed, Kate!