My wife got pregnant while having an affair - she lost the baby and now resents me for saying I would not raise the child if it wasn't mine

A man has candidly revealed how his wife got pregnant while having an affair - but, having lost the baby, now resents him for saying he would not raise the child if it was not his.

The unnamed husband, believed to be from the US, took to Reddit's popular AITAH thread to unravel the details of the difficult dynamics.

He claimed that his wife was a serial cheater but showed 'little to no sorrow for what she did.'

The exasperated man revealed that he had been trying to make things work but was struggling to find a way forward. 

The Reddit post, shared by user MulberryCultural7789, was titled: 'Wife cheated, got pregnant but lost it. I don't know if it was mine or not, but I told her I would not raise her affair baby. Am I the a**hole?'

Elaborating further, he wrote: 'She is obviously grieving, and I've been supportive all the way. 

'The worst thing I've done since she told me she's pregnant and it may not be mine, was say I wouldn't raise her affair baby. 

'She throws it back in my face daily, and I don't even mention her cheating because I'm trying not to fight.'

The exasperated husband continued: 'She shows little to no sorrow for what she did, and frequently tells me she doesn't care about it because she lost the baby.

'I also told her if I get even a hint of her cheating again, I would I leave. As a result, she feels unstable in the marriage and hates me. Am I the a**hole?'

But, before readers could weigh in, he provided an update that stated: 'Next day I told her I was done. Then I offered an olive branch because damnit I did marry her for a reason.

'If she wants to remain my wife, she will go to couples' therapy, individual therapy, get off social media, and get help for her depression. I will have her location and I will be spot checking her phone randomly.

'I offered the same things to her as I have nothing to hide. I know the therapist is going to tear her up. I hope she changes because of it. I don't think this will be enough for me to stay but I'm going to put my best effort into it to at least say that I did.'

Despite the strong stance, he caveated: 'By the way, I hate acting this way. Locking her down like this goes against my morals, but it's the only way to even consider trusting her again. It'll most likely cause her to rebel against me.'

The husband went on to reveal that there had been a series of developments in the time that had elapsed since his original post.

He said the couple had undergone a therapist consultation before he booked an STD test and consulted a lawyer.

'The biggest thing is, she thinks she gets half the house, but I bought it without her help before marriage. 

'My lawyer says she has no rights to it. I'm keeping that in my back pocket for now. She doesn't know I spoke to a lawyer.

'Also, she refuses to tell me how she deceived me. All I know is who it was, and a vague timeline. 

'I want to know what she told me she was doing, where I was to not know. She said her location was on. She refuses to tell me till therapy in two weeks. I feel I should have the right to know right?

'Am I an a**hole for talking to a lawyer and having divorce papers hidden under my mattress while "trying to make it work" waiting for a couples therapy appointment?'

The Reddit post has so far received more than 5,200 comments with most users appearing to side with the husband.

He replied to several users' comments and revealed his situation in greater detail.

The unnamed man confessed that she had cheated 'three times since marriage' and 'once before marriage.'

The husband added in another response that she's 'masking trauma for sure, but she's unwilling to confront it. She would rather scroll Instagram and get high.'

He also admitted that 'the only reason to stay together is because she relies on [him] financially and [they] have a bunch of animals, not even kids.' 

And other social media users were quick to share their own thoughts. 

One person wrote: 'She's showing no remorse. Why would you stay?' 

He responded back: 'I'm asking myself the same thing daily.'

'The moment she cheated she lost the high ground. Sure, it sucks she lost the baby but her actions mean you're NTA for checking out emotionally. Leave her. She is not someone you want to build a life with,' added another.

A third person chimed in: 'Lawyer up. Make plans. Dump cheating/gaslighting spouse.'

'She is a mess and she even let's you know that she doesn't care about you. She is going to cheat again if she is not already doing it. It will end in a divorce sooner or later anyway so I wouldn't waste any time and get it done,' added a fourth person.

Another wrote: 'She cheated. Why don't YOU feel unstable in the relationship?'

'I get she is grieving and that's legitimate but not your fault. You need to get out of that relationship ASAP. Once a cheater, always a cheater,' commented another.

Other users sarcastically branded him the a**hole for not divorcing her sooner.