NANA AKUA: Wondering aloud about a baby's skin tone is NOT racist... After supposed 'racist royals' are 'inadvertently' outed by Omid Scobie in his new book

At office water-coolers, on social media and in bars and cafes around the country, one question has dominated conversation.

Everyone wanted to know the identity of the supposed 'royal racists' – who allegedly asked about the skin colour of Harry and Meghan's yet-to-be-born son Archie – after they were 'inadvertently' outed by the Sussexes' apparent mouthpiece Omid Scobie in his new book, Endgame.

But everyone has been asking the wrong question. What people should be considering is whether it's racist at all to wonder out loud about the skin tone of an unborn baby. As the black mother of two mixed-race children, I can tell you one of the few things my ex-partner and I agreed on before our son's birth was his name: Ivory.

I would laugh with my friends and family: 'What if he comes out really dark? The very opposite to what his name suggests!' We'd have loved him the same no matter how he looked – we were just curious.

Of course, every set of parents-to-be wonders what their child will look like, what features and colouring from one side of the family or the other they will inherit.

For mixed-race parents, their children's skin tone is a lottery ticket. It's not unknown for twins to have completely different appearances: one dark-skinned with dark hair and eyes and the other with blond hair and blue eyes.

You don't know until the child is born – which is why it's such a fascinating talking point. So while it's possible that asking about an unborn child's skin colour in a derogatory manner might be construed as racist, merely wondering about it in a sense of genuine anticipation is absolutely not. Discussing race is not racist.

Clearly, the difficulty here is that we don't have any context. The scant evidence we do have of the alleged interaction in the Royal Family suggests that the royals were said to have mentioned it to Harry privately, and that he related the conversation to Meghan at a later date. The account must have been passed on again by someone to Scobie, who is himself mixed-race and perhaps reported it through the prism of his own experience.

All in all, it's dubious hearsay. Harry has been a late but vocal champion of the anti-racism cause and the jury is still out as to whether he genuinely understands the issues involved. Remember that this is a man who, albeit as a naive 21-year-old, thought it was funny to call a fellow cadet at Sandhurst 'our little P*** friend'.

Indeed, I believe that incident partly informs his hyper-sensitivity to perceived racism now. His marriage to Meghan, of course, and learning of her life experiences as a mixed-race woman, plays a bigger part. However, in his born-again righteousness he reminds me of a reformed smoker who lectures everyone else on the danger of cigarettes.

It's so sad it has come to this. When Harry and Meghan's engagement was announced in November 2017, I was thrilled. Back then, Britain embraced Meghan, and the fact that she was mixed race was something to celebrate in our increasingly multi-cultural society. Yes, we wanted to talk about it, but in a positive way.

Yet, in one episode of the Sussexes' bombshell Netflix documentary, released last year, Meghan lamented: 'People are very aware of my race because they made it such an issue when I went to the UK.'

It is this hyper-sensitivity – and fundamental misunderstanding – that lies at the heart of Harry and Meghan's estrangement from the Royal Family and the accusations being levelled. We wanted – and still want – to see the couple and their children thrive, but their endless pampered victimhood and moaning is getting in the way.