Olivia Munn reveals the 'shock' of seeing her body in the mirror after having a double mastectomy: 'I just absolutely broke down'

Olivia Munn described the 'shock' she experienced when she saw her body for the first time following a double mastectomy.

The actress, 43, had undergone a lymph node dissection, a nipple delay procedure and a double mastectomy during her battle with breast cancer, after she was diagnosed around a year ago and had all the operations in the space of 10 months.

The mom-of-one revealed that 'nothing' could have prepared her for 'what it would look like' in a new candid interview with People, adding that she 'absolutely broke down.'

A week after having the double mastectomy she went for a post-surgical check up, which is when she saw her body without bandages for the first time with her doctor.

'It was a shock. It was a shock to my system. I had such a hard time, I remember just looking in the mirror with him and just having no emotion, just taking in what he was saying,' she shared.

Munn woke up from her 10-hour double mastectomy on May 24, 2023, and opted for expanders instead of immediate reconstructive surgery in order to allow her body time to heal and rest.

Expanders are silicone implants placed under the chest wall muscles or tissues to gradually stretch the skin and create space for permanent breast implants. 

The Predator star — who shares two-year-old son Malcolm with comedian boyfriend John Mulaney, 41 — said when she saw herself for the first time, 'I was in shock. It was incredibly hard.'

'I really tried to be prepared, but the truth is that nothing could prepare me for what I would feel like, what it would look like, how I would handle it emotionally. It was a lot tougher than I expected.'

She said that not even the doctor's reassurances about the results looking 'fantastic' could be a comfort at the time.  

'The doctor was telling me how fantastic it looked. Which made it even harder. Because fantastic is top, you don't get better than fantastic. So I thought, this doesn't get better.'

'When I got home, I undressed and looked in the mirror again, and that's when I just absolutely broke down,' she added. 

After having her reconstructive surgery in the fall, Munn has come to terms with the changes in her body. 

She also started hormone suppression therapy in November to reduce future risk of cancer, putting her into medically induced menopause, causing hot flashes, thinning hair and exhaustion.

'It's much better, but it's not the same, and that's okay. Because I'm here, and I'm extremely happy that I got the opportunity to fight, she said.

'I was given that chance, and I know a lot of people in my situation don't have that as an option. So I'm extremely grateful.'

Munn revealed that during surgery, doctors discovered a 'tangerine-sized' section of ductal carcinoma in situ — a preinvasive cancer — in her right breast.

'Hearing that news gave me peace that I'd made the right decision.'

The star has also come to accept her 'battle wounds' — scars and dents from her lymph node surgery — and is now focused on raising awareness for other women at risk of breast cancer. 

Elsewhere in the cover interview she added that her cancer diagnosis was 'much more terrifying' because she was caring for her son Malcolm.

Malcolm was just one year old when Olivia discovered she had cancer, though she did not go public with the news until this March.

Olivia's cancer battle began last year with a jarring diagnosis - just three months after she had a mammogram that indicated she was healthy.

Her astonishment was compounded by the fact that she had gotten a negative test for a cancer gene mutation not long beforehand.

She 'did all the tests that I knew about' and as a result was 'walking around thinking I had no breast cancer' shortly before she was diagnosed.

When she received news that she had cancer in both breasts, she 'was not someone who obsessed over death or was afraid of it in any way' but confessed that 'having a little baby at home made everything much more terrifying.'

Olivia, who was about to start shooting a film at the time, realized 'cancer doesn’t care who you are; it doesn’t care if you have a baby or if you don’t have time. It comes at you, and you have no choice but to face it head-on.'

Although having little Malcolm at home made the initial news scarier, the task of taking care of him helped Olivia cope with her treatment.

'When I’m with him, it’s the only time my brain doesn’t think about being sick. I’m just so happy with him,' she explained.

'And it puts a lot of stuff into perspective. Because if my body changes, I’m still his mom. If I have hot flashes, I’m still his mom. If I lose my hair, I’m still his mom. That’s really what matters the most to me. I get to be here for him.'

She shared that when she underwent reconstructive surgery after her double mastectomy, she opted for smaller breasts rather than larger ones.

'I know a lot of women want to go bigger, but [I said] go smaller. It’s so important to say what you want out loud - and don’t stop,' she said. 'Even as the anesthesia was making its way into my body, the last thing I said was: "Please go smaller."'

Having John around also helped her soldier through her struggle with her illness, which 'would’ve felt like climbing an iceberg without him.'

She recalled: 'I don’t think he had a moment to himself, between being an incredibly hands-on father and going to and from the hospital - taking Malcolm to the park, putting him to nap, driving to Cedars-Sinai, hanging out with me, going home, putting Malcolm to bed, coming back to me. And he did it all happily.'

Olivia also shed light on her decision to remain secretive about her cancer battle until months after she went through her double mastectomy.

'Keeping it private for as long as I did allowed me time to fight without any outside noise at all,' the Oklahoma native said.