Pamela Anderson reveals she'd 'rather be raw' than polished in vulnerable new interview

Canadian actress, author and icon Pamela Anderson admitted that, at age 57, she is still working on figuring out who she is 'in real life.' 

After spending the past three decades in the spotlight playing fictional characters like Casey Jean 'C.J.' Parker on Baywatch and Barb in the 1996 distopic sci-fi action film Barb Wire, the icon, who many still view as the archetypal blonde bombshell, opened up about her current journey of self-discovery.

The mother-of-two explained that the process has been her 'hardest work over the past few years.' 

When asked directly who is 'Pamela Denise Anderson sitting here' today by Glamour, Anderson confessed that she began 'playing roles' at 'a very young child' 

'I had such a strong imagination. And it's just what I did. I didn't realize that was a career,' she said. 'And then as I moved here [to the USA from her native Canada] and then Playboy…or being married to Tommy [Lee], or whatever it was…I just always wanted to be the best I could be at that.'

Now, the performer says she's been committed to staying 'alone' and identifying what she likes without anyone else's opinions.  

Additionally, she is no longer afraid to speak her mind and get vulnerable about her past. 

While reflecting on Hulu's 2022 series, Pam & Tommy, based on her and Tommy Lee's leaked sex tape, Anderson said it hit her 'harder' than she 'even imagined.'

'It made me so nauseous to even think about it again when it came out, this Hulu thing. It really felt like another kick in the stomach that people might find that entertaining,' she explained. 

Meanwhile, during that time in her life, she said she lost her husband, 'sanity' and career. 

'In the moment I didn't realize it,' she said. 'It's like post-traumatic, and so then you just start acting out. And I knew that I had lots of things that happened [to me] that I could have handled differently…. In this world, it's really important how you manage your career. And I was just Wild West-ing it.' 

After feeling her reputation was irrevocably tarnished, she agreed to appear on a number of reality shows, like Big Brother and Dancing on Ice. 

During that time, she said she use to 'try and laugh' off the pain. 

'I think that's how we learned to deal with it,' she explained. 

But dealing with becoming tabloid fodder for a large part of the nineties and being the butt of many late-night jokes, undeniably, affected her. 

'Even when I hear my name, I don't like it. I have a negative connotation with it,' she said. 'I still have a stereotype of myself almost. And so it's been hard work to try and get rid of that because I'm a woman.' 

'I'm a Halloween costume, everywhere you turn,' she said. 'This is how people see me…. It's not like I just came to LA and decided to play a character. I was on these shows…everything was photographed. So I just kind of played along with it.' 

As she works on discovering herself, Anderson has stopped hiding behind makeup. 

'I've just done it and I've played with it,' she said. 'I've nothing against makeup, but I felt like it just looked better on me in my 20s than it did now.' 

'You're going to hit a crossroads in your 50s, and you go, "Am I going to chase youth? Am I going to be miserable? Or am I going to be self-accepting?"' the actress noted of her mindset. 'And it's a practice. And it's hard to say that you're attempting all this if you're still doing the red carpets and the covers of magazines plastered in makeup.' 

Ultimately, she told readers: 'I think, instead of trying to be this polished person, I’d rather be raw. One eye is smaller than the other, my nose is crooked, my lips are weird. Everyone is weird. Everyone has imperfections.' 

'It’s important, no matter where you are in your beauty journey, to accept yourself as you are. And right now I’m having a big moment accepting scars I have or imperfections,' she said of going au naturel in public and during photo shoots. 

She went on to say she is 'definitely much happier now' than ten years ago. 

Anderson also credited her sons, Brandon Thomas Lee and Dylan Jagger Lee, who she shares with Lee, for giving her strength. 

'What saved my life—and you never want to put this on your kids—were my boys. Because without my boys, I wouldn’t have been able to be as strong as I was,' she said. 'I had to be strong for my boys. And I also had to leave Tommy for my boys.'

Anderson also opened up about the upcoming 2024 United States presidential election and overturning of Roe v. Wade. 

'It’s scary. No, it’s very scary,' she stated. 'wouldn’t say I’m a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t know what I am. Obviously more Democrat than Republican. But I think there’s so much out of our hands, unfortunately…the one thing you have to do is vote.' 

Anderson stressed that she she doesn't 'want a sexual predator in the White House.' 

'I feel very strongly about that. And that should just be it...that’s my red line,' she said of the possibility of Donald Trump getting elected to serve a second term. 

On Tuesday, Anderson accepted the coveted Glamour Impact Award. 

Glamour's Women of the Year Awards honors the activists and record-breakers who are leading the charge for women's equality. 

Elsewhere during the ceremony, Jodie Turner-Smith was awarded the Trailblazer trophy by pal and fellow actor Naomie Harris, 48. 

Katherine Ryan also accepted the prize for Feminist Hero. 

Keely Hodgkinson was awarded the Sporting Hero prize, while former Love Island star Cally Jane Beech was awarded Activist of the Year. 

Former Love Island star Cally Jane Beech was awarded Activist of the Year. 

Past winners have included Kim Cattrall, Naomi Campbell and Victoria Beckham.