Tragic final words of doctor, 33, before he died by suicide - and his stark warning to hospitals everywhere

A doctor who took his own life left a heartbreaking suicide note saying he had 'run out of gas' as he warned of the immense pressure medics are under.

Dr Will West was in the third year of his ophthalmology training at George Washington University School of Medicine and Health Sciences in Washington D.C.

His suicide at the age of 33 devastated his friends and family, as well as those he worked with.

The devoted doctor, who was nicknamed 'Iron Will' for his determination, said it was not one single event which had led to his death but highlighted the immense pressure of his residency which his family say prevented him seeking help.

'To those who will be negatively affected by my actions, I'm so sorry. I have simply run out of gas and have nothing left to give,' West wrote in the note obtained by the Washington Post.

'I apologize that this is the best I can do for goodbye. Many of you deserve better but one can't exactly talk much about this kind of thing in advance so a note will have to do.'

In the days before his suicide, West, from Sandy, Utah, contacted his younger brother David and appeared to be checking in on his other siblings to make sure they would be okay after his death, his brother said.

David, who is also completing medical studies, explained that the grueling conditions of residency which often include 80 hour work weeks for relatively little pay, can take huge toll on students' mental health.

But worse than this, medics are often afraid to speak up in case it harms their career prospects, David said.

Doctors are required to disclose mental health treatment when applying for certain jobs.

West had been diagnosed with ADHD and depression but did not seek help from the hospital despite having sought treatment while back in Utah due to fears over professional repercussions, his brother said. 

'Imperfection is not allowed,' David explained. 'Weakness is not either. When it's there, it's treated with disdain instead of an opportunity for learning and growth.' 

 This was something West alluded to in his suicide note.

'To those in a position of authority over residents, a simple reminder that we come to you seeking the possibility of a better life,' he wrote. 'Some of us with challenges you do not see or backgrounds of which you are not aware.

'I hope that an effort can be made to understand, support, and mentor the residents rather than simply to assess and drive them toward their highest potential as doctors.'

But he also issued a stern warning to his employers specifically. 

'To be clear, there are other people at real risk here at GW,' West added. 'There are other residents right now fighting a true life and death battle — one that is waged both inside and out at the clinic/hospital. 

'Often that battle may cause symptoms that look an awful lot like laziness, lack of motivation or waste of intelligence, all unforgivable sins in our profession.'

In his obituary, West's family described his death as 'unimaginably heartbreaking' as they paid tribute to their beloved son, brother and uncle.

'He was such a fun spirit and could always make us laugh, loved to have fun and perpetually had a bit of a mischievous twinkle in his eye,' the obituary reads. 'He was always up for adventure in his own unique way.'

In lieu of flowers, the family asked for donations to the Dr. Lorna Breene Heroes' Foundation which aims to support medical workers' mental health and wellbeing.

The charity was founded in honor of the eponymous medic Dr Breene, who took her life after undergoing psychiatric treatment during the covid-19 pandemic.

Her brother-in-law said she feared that accessing the treatment would mean she would have her medical license revoked.

'You are facing the decision of whether to put your future career, which is often your mission in life to care for others and use your talents to do that, at jeopardy by taking care of yourself in a way that you know you should be,' Stefanie Simmons, chief medical officer at the organization said.

In a statement, the hospital said the safety of all its students and staff 'is the university's highest priority,'.

'At GW, like other medical training programs, we recognize that the residency experience can be personally challenging and that residents may need professional support for their well-being,' the statement said.

'The university is aware of and strives to eliminate the culturally entrenched stigma that has long interfered with physicians’ willingness to seek help with, at times, life-threatening mental conditions 

 'The GW School of Medicine and Health Sciences (SMHS) offers resources to support the physical, emotional/mental health, and overall well-being of residents — including confidential counseling at no cost.'

But three months after West's death, his colleagues held a rally for a mental health stipend and better hours and remuneration.

Many said they identified with Will's struggle, but had come across barriers to accessing help at the hospital.

While the university claims it is doing all it can, the empty corner desk once occupied by West and now adorned with floral tributes is a poignant reminder of how desperate the situation can become.

 If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.