Alaska Airlines pilot who tried to crash plane while high on magic mushrooms breaks his silence

A former Alaska Airlines pilot who tried to crash a plane while high on magic mushrooms has broken his silence on the terrifying incident that he claims saved his marriage.

Joseph Emerson, 44, attempted to shut down the engines of Alaska Airlines flight last October while high on magic mushrooms.

He was inside the Alaska Airlines cockpit when he raised his arms and pulled two large red levers that could have shut down both engines at 30,000 feet.

In an interview with Good Morning America, he calls it the 'biggest mistake' and 'worst 30 seconds' of his life - but also claimed it saved his marriage. 

'It's 30 seconds of my life that I wish I could change, and I can't,' Emerson told the outlet.

The father-of-two had taken psychedelic mushrooms days earlier while on a trip with friends to remember his best friend Scott, a pilot who died six years ago.

Emerson revealed the terrifying moment he tried to pull emergency levers in cockpit.

'That's kind of where I flung off my headset, and I was fully convinced this isn't real and I'm not going home,' Emerson recounted. 

'And then, as the pilots didn't react to my completely abnormal behavior in a way that I thought would be consistent with reality, that is when I was like, this isn't real. I need to wake up.' 

He claimed he was still experiencing the drug's effects when he boarded the flight as an off-duty pilot and became convinced his surroundings weren't real.

'There was a feeling of being trapped, like, "Am I trapped in this airplane and now I'll never go home?"' he recalled.

Emerson described the moment he  reached for the engine shut-off controls, believing it would 'wake him up' from what he thought was a hallucination.

'There are two red handles in front of my face,' Emerson continued. 'And thinking that I was going to wake up, thinking this is my way to get out of this non-real reality, I reached up and I grabbed them, and I pulled the levers.' 

'What I thought is, "This is going to wake me up,"' Emerson said. 'I know what those levers do in a real airplane and I need to wake up from this. You know, it's 30 seconds of my life that I wish I could change, and I can't.' 

He said he was brought back to reality when the crew stopped him. 

'It was really the pilot's physical touch on my hand,' he said. 'Both pilots grabbed my hands where I kind of stopped and I had that moment, which I'll just say I view this moment as a gift.' 

'I observe the pilots react to the difficult situation that I just handed them and watch them react in a very professional manner,' Emerson said of the pilots. 'I heard them converse about me and I said, 'You guys want me out of the flight deck?'' 

But Emerson's odd behavior continued after he was brought back to the cabin. 

Emerson said he then grabbed a lever operating the cabin door.

'At some point I thought maybe this isn't real, and maybe I can wake myself up by just jumping out, like that freefall feeling that you have,' he said. 

'I put my hand on the lever, I didn't operate the lever.'

A flight attendant then intervened and stopped him.

'She put … her hand on mine again and with that human touch, I released. I think around that period is when I said, 'I don't understand what's real, I don't I don't understand what's real.''

Emerson then requested to be restrained and handcuffed for the remainder of the flight. 

'I essentially asked to be restrained myself because I knew if this is real, I've already done enough damage,' he said. 'I thought, 'Let's restrain me till I can get the help I need.' That's really kind of what I was hoping coming off this airplane that I would get, get the help I needed.' 

The pilot's wife Sarah described her horror at learning her husband faced 83 attempted murder charges - one for each person on board.

'I walk up to the window and say I'm looking for my husband and he kind of just looked on the computer and typed some things in and then nonchalantly tells me the charges, and I lost it,' Sarah told the outlet. 

'I screamed and I keeled over, and I almost fell,' she added. 'They grabbed me and pulled me over because I know what that means. I was in a complete shock.' 

But ten months on, the couple claim the incident has actually strengthened their relationship and given Emerson a new lease on life.

'It's saved my marriage, allowed me more time with my kids, and thrust me into a life of therapy and recovery,' Emerson said.

The pair have now launched a non-profit called Clear Skies Ahead to raise awareness about pilot mental health.

Emerson, who spent 45 days in jail, still faces over 80 state and federal charges including reckless endangerment. He has pleaded not guilty to those charges.

'At the end of the day, I accept responsibility for the choices that I made,' he said.

'What I hope is that the entirety of not just 30 seconds of the event, but the entirety of my experience is accounted for as society judges me.'

While his flying future remains uncertain, Emerson says he's grateful to the crew and passengers for their calm response to his actions.

'What I did was, something we don't train for, and they handled it fantastic. It's really a result of their professionalism and the way they handled that situation that I'm alive today,' he said.

'Of course I want to fly again. I'd be totally disingenuous if I said no,' he said. 'I don't know in what capacity I'm going to fly again and I don't know if that's an opportunity that's going to be afforded to me.'

'But at the end of the day, if I'm not meant to fly again, I'm not going to fly again.'